One Year Ago

One year ago today, our lives were changed.

Well, it was on the 10th, but it was a Monday.

We had been in the adoption process for a year, and had been approved & waiting for 3 months. In the world of adoption, waiting 3 months in nothing. But, we had been trying to have a baby for 9 years, so we were very ready for the wait to be over.

Throughout the summer, I'd been learning faith & patience. God had been dealing with me in a whole new way. I was leading a Ladies Bible Study on Wednesdays and He used those ladies to speak to me, encourage and support me.

By Monday, December 10th, I was ready to let go of any control I wanted in having our child. I told God that morning, if He wanted to wait another year to make me a mommy, I would trust His plan. Around lunchtime, my pastor called to touch base with me & see how I was holding up. I told him the same that I had just told God.

Then around 1:30 I was at the computer, though for the life of me, I can't remember what I was doing. Anyhow, the phone rang... I saw it was our adoption agency... now, I need to back up for those who don't know this story.

Just after Thanksgiving last year, our agency seemed to have a lot of babies born or being born. They were all either black or bi-racial. Not many adoptive couples are willing to adopt other than white babies. Our profile was being shown to 3 mothers, who were placing their babies for adoption. So, I was fielding a lot of calls from our Case Worker. Every time that phone rang, I held my breath. I was always afraid of what it might be... another mom who chose another family, or went MIA. Yet, I was also hopeful that it would be THE call.

So, that Monday afternoon the phone rang. I can still hear Carolyn's words. "Kelly, this is Carolyn. This is THE call sweety. You have been chosen." Tears are filling my eyes as I write this. She told me all the details, yet I could barely hear her. haha I had to call her back to get it all again. I called my husband and told him he was daddy & had a son. Then, I spent the rest of the day (and 3 phone batteries!) calling our family and friends.

Our years of waiting were coming to an end! We did have to wait almost 2 weeks to bring Nathan home, and in some ways , it felt longer than the 9 year wait!!

Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of how God prepared me for that day. I had to be broken down and humbled. I had to completely surrender to His plans. My son will always be a reminder to me that God knows best. Someone recently commented on how well Nathan fits us. I smiled, because I know God knew which baby we were to have.

That baby, is now a toddler. He has so much personality and is a little lovebug. He loves hugs & kisses & cuddling with his mama. He also loves to rough-house, tackling his daddy whenever he can. He is obsessed with his dogs, and looks for them after every nap. He has a little southern accents that melts my heart. His eyes sparkle and his smile lights up his whole face. He has a temper that rivals any, and can scream like no other.

I pray daily that I am up to the task of molding him into the man that God wants to him to be. I pray that he will be loving, and strong, respectful and kind, generous and smart, and most of all God fearing. I plan to teach him how to sew, cook, and clean, while his daddy can't wait to teach him about tools, cars and guy stuff. lol Mike and I have always said that we want our kids to be well rounded, and know how to do things for themselves.

If you made it through this long post, thank you. I enjoyed remembering that special day.

Baby Time coming to an end

At Nathan's 9 month check up, the doctor told that over the next couple of months I need to begin weaning him. My goal, she instructed, is to have him off the bottle by his 1st birthday.

My first thoughts were financial. Hooray! No more expensive formula. No more washing dozens of bottles.

This morning however... I wanted to cry. Nathan was cuddled in close to me, taking his morning bottle. He makes lots of eye contact with his morning bottle. He isn't very fidgety, just happy to be so close to mommy. These moments will soon be nothing more than memories. Only, he won't remember them, they will be mine alone. I am grateful for them. They have helped bond us as mother and son. They have brought a closeness like nothing else.

Everyday he makes me realize that time is so short. Yesterday, I was at church talking to another lady. I looked up & saw my husband and son walking hand in hand. My heart swelled! (to clarify, Nathan can't walk on his own yet.)

So, I know that these days are quickly passing us. Soon he will be rushing to go play with his friends. I will smile and remember the days when he & I played and laughed and cuddled all day long.

Smell of bread...

What is it about the smell of bread that makes me feel so good??

I am making a loaf of simple white bread in the bread machine... thanks Tia for the bread machine. =) It is almost done and the smell is simply wonderful.

Maybe it's because it takes me back to cold winter days when Dad would make stew & homemade rolls. To this day, if I smell bread or stew, I think of my dad. I can still see him in the kitchen, working away on the bread. He never did use a bread machine, he did everything from scratch & by hand. I remember asking him how much longer. When the bread was done, he would tear off the top, spread butter on it & let me enjoy.

Maybe it's because bread is such a great comfort food. Maybe it's because bread is a basic staple for human life. Or, it's all of the above.

Either way, I can't wait for the beep to let me know it's done. I will carefully pull the golden yumminess from the warm machine, plop it onto the cutting board, tear off the top, add a dolup of butter & enjoy! Of, course, I will think of my dad. Maybe I should give him a call...

If all works out well, I will making our bread from now on... =)

I hope that someday my kids wills smell freshly baking bread & think of me. Fond memories will tumble from their childhood and a smile will form on their faces.

Walk down memory lane

Tomorrow marks the end of this page of our adoption journey. We go to court to finalize the adoption. I am still shocked that it is here.

The past two years have just flown by!! Two years ago we had just listed our house in California and were preparing to move. We knew this meant a baby would be coming at some point. It was so exciting and scary and sad all at once. We would be leaving the comfort of the place we had known our whole lives, and the closeness of family and friends. We had not even been to area that we knew God was calling us to...

September 2006, our house had been on the market for a month. That was a long time in Southern California real estate, at the time. (Little did we know, that we would moving just before just a huge market crash. Thank you God!! ) We flew to Nashville, TN and drove down to visit Matt & Katie and see the area. We fell in love immediately, despite the heat & humidity.

October 2006, our house had been on the market for 2 months. We were beginning to wonder if it wouldn't sell until spring. My dad suffered a massive heart attack, and we nearly lost him. The next day, we got an offer on the house. I cried! I knew that God allowed the offer on the house to wait. Mainly because we kept saying that we were moving to make our new family, and not clinging to our parents. This tested me, hard. I love my dad and didn't want to leave not knowing when I would see him again. We accepted the offer.

November 2006, we move to Tennessee. We loved the cross country drive!! My only regret is that we didn't take our time and enjoy it more. We stayed in our trailer in Matt & Katie's backyard. So much fun!! Katie & I became such good friends during that time. I love ya Katie!!

December 2006, we bought our home. We started the adoption process.

Fast Foward... September 2007, we were officialy approved to adopt.

December 10, 2007, we got THE call.

December 21, 2007, Nathan came home.

And now here we are... =)