Money, Health and Adoption

I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't want to post this. I believe that I am being led to post it. The only reason I don't want to do it, is because I take after my dad's side of the family and tend to be private about health stuff.

I have been pretty open about our financial plans with our current and next adoption. We are still working on paying off the first one, and plan to do the next with cash. We believe that God's word is clear about debt and don't want to ask Him to bless our debt.

For the last couple years, I have not had health insurance. Mike's job does not have good insurance so we opted to get private coverage. There are several reasons for us choosing to not cover me, that really aren't important for this post. Until recently, we've had no problems with my health. In fact, it has seemed that God even touched and healed my heart. Backstory for those who don't know: I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse around the age of 19. My heart has always raced, with an avergage of 100bpm at resting. The norm is 70-80. I developed high blood pressure in my mid-20's. I had chest pains & palpatations frequently. Since moving to TN, my heart rate & BP are normal and I almost never have pains. PRAISE GOD!!

This week we found out that I may have cervical fibroids and possibly uterine fibroids. I will be having an ultrasound next month to determine all of this. The doctors are of course talking surgery. I will say, I'm not worried about my health. I know how routine all of this is, and that I will be just fine.

Where my faith has been shaken, and now become stronger, is the financial side of it all. We had just started the process to update our homestudy and looking at the next adoption in the Spring. My fear came in that we would not be able to adopt again, with not knowing what the medical bills would look like. This week I've been seeing pregnant women EVERYWHERE, and feeling it was being shoved in my face that I can't create a child.

Then God reminded me that this is not in my hands or for me to understand. He knows my body better than anyone. He knew we would deal with infertility and now that we'd be dealing with this. He knew what our financial situation would be and what it would take to bring us through it.

I am posting this, because I feel His prompting that this is going to be a testimony and He wants the glory!

I have tears in my eyes, knowing that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to give me good gifts. Knowing that children are a blessing and the He will give me the desires of my heart.