"don't baby the baby"

There is something that has really bothered me since becoming a mom. I know that there are about a million thoughts on how to raise children. I realize that I don't need to agree with everyone, no one needs to agree with me.

When Nathan was a baby, if he ever whimpered when I wasn't holding him, people would say "Oh, you've babying him." Now, I will say that I did encourage him "play" on his own. Whether is was in his crib with the mobile or on the floor with mats/toys.

I just don't understand the extreme we go to as a society to make our children independent. Why do we expect a 3 month to be able to sooth himself & not need his mommy's loving arms?

Don't we get that he/she just spent nine months being constantly rocked, talked to and kept warm & safe??

I can admit, I'm very into attachment parenting. I preferred to wear Nathan in a sling over strapping him to the carseat. He slept in our room at night for 3 months. Last night his teeth were really bugging him, we brought him out to be with us for a little while.

Don't get me wrong, I could tell when he was/is crying just to cry. I would tell him to grip on himself and divert his attention.

Now that he is almost 18 months old, he is a well adjusted toddler. He loves to chase his dogs, play with his toys & beat up others kids. Yes, some days he wants to be held & sit on my lap. But, what is so wrong with that?? What is wrong with a baby knowing that he can go to his mommy for comfort & unconditional love?? Why is it so wrong that if he is in a group of people he doesn't know, that he should hold tight his parents?

Why do we as a society want to put our kids on a shelf until we are ready to play with them?