Perspective

I'm needing a change of perspective and focus.

For so long I have been so me focused. What's going on in my life, how does that impact me, how much money do we have, how big is my house, how much sewing space do I have, how many kids are we going to have? How many people are reading my blog? How many people are buying my stuff? Who's donating to my adoption fund?

BLECK!

I'm gonna put this out there and tell you that I am blessed! I'm blessed beyond measure. In a time when people are losing their jobs, Mike has been told he will have a job. While people are scraping money together to pay the light bill, we are putting money in savings. I get to stay home and raise our son. Our cars are paid for, we have a manageable sized mortgage and no debt. Well, we have the adoption loan, but nothing else. I'm the mama to a boy who couldn't be more perfect for my family. I have wonderful friends who love and would do anything for me. I have the support of family and all of our parents are still living.

God's love is something I am ashamed of taking for granted. He is always there, and I'm guilty of putting Him on the shelf. I put my sewing, blogging, budgeting, etc etc ahead of Him. I fall to my knees when I need Him, but am off and running when things are good. I am changing that, here and now.

A couple of months ago, Mike called me during the day. "How much can we afford for me be off work each month?" Things at work were tight, and though he was promised a job, he wasn't guaranteed hours. This sent me reeling. While we were paying our bills, things were just a little tight. I started looking at the budget and the money. I spent the next two hours in serious prayer. I'm talking pacing the floors and talking to my Heavenly Daddy. He reminded me that He wants to carry my burdens. I gave the money to Him. I couldn't hold on to it any longer. I was tempted to hold onto our Tithes for a couple months, but did not. I'm so glad for that.

Since then, I have seen Him bless us, Mike's work and our adoption efforts. For a couple weeks, Mike was working some pretty crazy overtime. It allowed us to put some money into savings, for one of our goals. I've started watching a little boy a couple of days a week. We've put alot towards our adoption goals. People blessed us during Christmas to such a point that I was speechless. I've started watching a little boy a couple of days a week.

Simply giving it all to God has been so freeing! This huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Yet, I'm struggling against becoming spoiled. I promised God that I wouldn't go back there. I heard someone say recently that even though he has millions, he doesn't own a thing. He is simply managing it for God. I am reminding myself daily of that. God gave it to us, and He can allow to be taken away.

So, I'm putting this all out there for two reasons. 1) to have accountability. There is power in putting your weaknesses out for all to see. 2) to be a testimony to those struggling with the same issues.

For some reason, letting go of things and giving them to God is so hard to do. Probably has to do with the physical realm. We can't see God take our problems at first. However, you will see the results of giving them to Him. Maybe not right away, but you will.