Back in the swing

I have been doing a lot of reflecting over the last few months. Taking stock in myself, my home and why I do what I do.

This last year has been incredibly hard. Every time I think I can catch my breath, emotionally, something else knocks me in the gut. In many ways I have been in survival mode. Yet, I have felt guilty for even admitting that, because I know others are going through worse. I am forcing myself to stop comparing myself to others. Yes, it's good to keep a healthy dose of "it could be so much worse" in my life, but it's not healthy to repress what's going on in my own life.

Over this past year, friendships have been looked at in a whole new way. I have been examining who I keep close to my heart. Who pours into my life and who drains me of all I've got. Then of course, I've been taking note of my spiritual life. Have I been fully relying on the One who made me? The one who knows more about my soull than I do.

I want to live my life with purpose. I want to be intentional about the things I set my mind and hand to. Yes, some things in life will knock me back. But, I don't want to be so shallow that I'm washed away with each wave to the point that I can no longer find my direction.

We are preparing to bring another little life into our family, and I know that being a mama to two kids will be a challenge. I want to be the best mama possible to these little people.

I'm learning to be content in the physical yet discontent in the spiritual. What I mean by that, is no longer looking to the material objects to make me happy. But constantly wanting more from God. I have struggled with wanting a bigger home. I finally realized, that will only make happy for a fleeting moment. Yet, if I strengthen my walk with God, I will find that joy that surpasses all situations.

I challenge you friends, take stock in your life. Look deep into your innermost being. Are you happy with what you see?